I grew up in a small farm town in Minnesota, was raised by well-educated parents, and faced very little adversity. We weren’t rich. We didn’t live extravagant lives or take fancy vacations, but we never really worried about putting food on the table or keeping the roof over our heads. I worked summer jobs to buy a cheap car in high school and got through college without loans through scholarships and work-study. All pretty typical for a white guy in the midwest. I never really cared much about politics because it meant little to me personally.
Sure, it was worth an intellectual discussion. Did American Democracy influence Europe nineteenth century development or did European ideals of aristocracy and pre-eminence distort the Constitution’s ideals of liberty and equality? Were the budget deficits of the 80’s worth it to end the Cold War or did they usher in a new era of perpetual debt and mistrust of government? But actual laws passed, which Party governed my state or country, those had little impact on my life.
The unemployment rate never touched me because I was a well-educated white male who could always find a job - or fall back on my extended support system of family and friends. I didn’t face discrimination of any kind or lack the rights of other people. I knew that if I called the police for help they would come quick and assume I was the good guy. If I didn’t get health care through my job I wasn’t worried because I was young and healthy. I didn’t rely on public transportation, didn’t need childcare, and made enough money, though not too much, so that my tax bill was a minor inconvenience at worst.
I lived my life according to the virtues I’d been raised with: work hard, be honest, treat everyone with respect, and give everyone a fair chance. I looked at the society around me - mostly people similar to myself - and it seemed like my neighbors did the same. I didn’t see discrimination (I didn’t see many people of color, either). I didn’t see bigotry or racial animus (most people treated me fine). People seemed to be respectful to women (in my presence) and immigrants were welcomed (in so much as they were gainfully employed doing a lot of the grunt work to make our lives easier). So while it was clear that much of our political rhetoric and policies weren’t nearly so egalitarian, life seemed okay and it was easier to simply be a good person and not waste my time or energy fighting the evil in the world.
As I grew older and experienced more of life, I broadened my horizons. I got to know people who were unlike me - less privileged, less white, less male. Social media came along and made it easier to hear the personal stories of lots of people like that. I started paying attention to those stories. I saw the penalties for crack cocaine (used mostly by poor, black people) were 50 times harsher than those for powdered cocaine (used mostly by rich white people) in spite of it being the same drug. I heard arguments that gay people should not be allowed to marry because they didn’t deserve the same rights as ‘us’. I worked with poor people whose health suffered because they couldn’t afford care.
Then I got married. And had a daughter. The future suddenly held much more importance and the rights of women (and other disadvantaged groups) became personal. I watched as my country elected a man who bragged about sexual assault to the highest office of the land. I listened as he spewed racist and sexist rhetoric and a large proportion of our society cheered. I felt helpless when more people made it very clear a woman’s trauma is less meaningful than a judge’s partisanship, that her sincerity and credibility still count less than his blatant dishonesty and deception. This is not the society I want for my daughter.
Women are paid less for doing the same job with the same experience as men. Women-dominated professions have lower salaries than male-dominated ones requiring the same education. Women are still doing most of the care work for children and households and are still grossly under-represented in higher levels of business and politics. They pay more for reproductive health care and shoulder a higher burden for birth control, yet many in our society want to limit their choices over their own bodies.
When I talk to other privileged white people like myself, many bristle at the suggestion that we are privileged, though they don’t have any real argument with the data that proves it. They also talk a lot about how much better things are for the marginalized than they used to be - as if ‘better’ is good enough. Or claim the best way to help anyone is to improve the economy (which they often measure by GDP or the Stock Market). And they are quick to assert that they are colorblind towards people and ‘respect’ women - though they’re still somehow more worried about the .005% of men who might be falsely accused of sexual assault instead of the 15% of women who are assaulted. It’s all just excuses to say that the inequities and discrimination in our society are not their fault because they aren’t personally discriminating or disrespecting anyone. But they do vote.
And a vote for Republicans is a vote for a party that has made it perfectly clear that women are not meant to be treated equally or fairly. They oppose the Equal Rights Amendment. They oppose maternity leave requirements. They won’t reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act. They want to allow employers to deny insurance coverage for women’s reproductive health. They vote for men who disparage women and they attack female candidates in a sexist manner.
Democrats aren’t perfect, but they run and elect many more female candidates. They support a woman’s choice and many laws to ensure equality. They advocate for maternity leave, childcare support, reproductive health coverage. They fight against gender discrimination, unequal pay, and systemic bias against women. By and large, they treat women with respect, not just personally but as an organization. They are working towards the ideal (equality) instead of away from it.
I believe electing women to office, especially Democratic women, not only improves the lives of women but everyone’s life, including my own. When women are included in leadership we get better decisions and better results. In general, women help. When women are allowed to fully contribute in the workplace our economy does better. When women are paid equally and supported in childcare their offspring - our future - do better. Our society benefits when everyone gets a fair chance. Equality may feel like discrimination to those currently receiving advantage, but it’s time we all put the good of the many ahead of the privilege of the few.
For my own sake, for my wife’s sake, and for my daughter’s sake, I actively support the only side in politics which will treat women with the respect they deserve. There are many reasons I vote for Democrats, but none are more important than my family’s future.
Who are you voting for?
