When Fairness isn't Fair

Life isn't fair. That's a sentiment we've all heard a lot lately and probably one most agree with. But it leads to the obvious question: what do we do about it? For far too many people the answer is situational, and fairness sometimes is no fairness at all.

When life isn't fair it means that some people are at a disadvantage, which also means some people are at a relative advantage. To make things fair would require leveling the playing field. If you pay attention, you'll notice that most people argue for such equal footing only when they are the ones disadvantaged, but when life is unfair to their advantage it becomes an unalterable truth that the disadvantaged have to learn to live with.

It's not just personal stakes, but mostly in-group vs. out-group.The heterosexual white guy arguing affirmative action isn't fair. The comfortably middle-class arguing welfare only hurts the poor because it takes away their self-initiative. The middle-aged guy who's all upset that trans women can compete in athletics because that 'isn't fair' to the girls. None of those people can step outside their own world view long enough to see that the 'unfairness' in each specific case is merely a redress to a much larger unfairness in the world as a whole.

While it is true that life isn't fair, it also is unfair in an unfair way. The unfairness of it does not hit everyone or every group equally. If you're sincerely interested in making life more fair, then you need to look at the big picture and focus on the most significant and systemic instances of unfairness and seek to redress those first. If you're in a class that has more privilege than most, it's certainly true that you can still experience some unfairness, but if you only seek to make things fair in those instances and don't consider all the other instances where things are unfair in your favor, you are not actually advocating for fairness but are instead fighting to maintain your undeserved privilege. That's not fair.